I received the opportunity to review a book by one of my favorite authors. I didn't even realize it when I'd signed up, but I couldn't contain my enthusiasm once I opened the package from the publisher Friday afternoon when it arrived.
I literally finished it within 48 hours, the bulk of which were after church yesterday afternoon while I huddled under three blankets because it's cold in Texas again and
Since I can't technically even tell you about it (which is a bummer, because I loved it that much), I have to speak in broad and vague terms in the hopes that nobody reads this and figures it out because then I'm probably never gonna get another free book again. At least not by totally legit and legal means.
So, the basic premise of this book is about change. Which, generally, I'm kind of opposed to. I don't like it. I don't enjoy it. Especially if it involves some kind of increase in taxes. And if you spring it on me at the last minute without any prior warning, it's likely you'll get punched in the nads/uterus/ovaries/other sensitive and painful area.
Or, for those of you who might be local, I might have to get North Bryan on your ass.
I realize that change can be good and positive and clearly, I've made some of those kinds of changes in my own life. This mostly involves engaging my filter more often, which if you know me at all, is pretty much a Herculean feat. It requires an enormous amount of restraint. And have you ever tried to restrain an angry fat girl?
I had lunch with a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. I got there first, which meant that I had to sit alone at a table (which of course was smack in the middle of the restaurant where everyone was left wondering if I was meeting someone or just sadly and forever alone) and wait for an excruciatingly long period of time (that probably really only equaled about ten minutes in non-Gini time) for her to arrive.
I played on my phone for a bit. I looked around. I nicely told the waitress that yes, I did understand that it was a serve yourself type buffet, I was just waiting for a friend. Twice. I played on my phone some more. I stared out the window willing her to drive faster. I stared at my phone some more.
When she (blessedly) wandered in, I sat my phone down and started talking. It dinged. A text message.
I ignored it. It dinged again. Another one.
I turned it face down. It buzzed (seriously, where were all of you people ten minutes ago?!).
I ached to reach for it. And not because I wasn't enjoying the company. It was just out of instinct. With every buzz or ding, I got more and more twitchy not responding to it. And, it got to the point where I was starting to rationalize checking it...
"Well, maybe it's important."
"What if the boys need me?"
"It could be important PTO stuff."
Yeah. When you start worrying about PTO stuff, that ain't a problem. That's an addiction. For real.
That was the point where it started to dawn on me that maybe I was too connected. Within a day, I realized that being that connected was a major source of unhappiness for me. In a lot of different ways. Seeing everyone's thoughts and opinions and relationships splashed all over pages on the internet is not good for anyone. But, if you're extra sensitive about certain situations and subjects, that just makes it worse. I can't do it. I don't want to do it. I want to read a book. I want to sit and talk with my husband. I want to hang out with friends who actually want to spend time with me.
And that's what I did this week.
I got out of the house. I played board games with Mr. BFG after dinner. I had lunch and ran errands. I worked up at Blake's school. I plugged in my iPod and listened to music while I wrote. I wrote more this week than I have in the last year. And I was completely happy not spending that time on Facebook or Pinterest or the local message board or looking at all of the things that make feel like something in my life is missing or out of sorts.
So. The whole point of this (increasingly wordy post)...
I'm walking away. Not from blogging. But from just about every other internet pastime. Facebook will still be there for family and whatever other obligations I have that are connected to it, but it will not be what it once was. Pinterest? Same thing. I'll go through binges I'm sure and I know that it's unrealistic to cut myself off completely...but the bulk of my free time will be spent out doing stuff that I enjoy, with people I enjoy.
And that makes me happy.