A Wednesday Ten...

The holidays are officially over.

The presents are put away. The company has cleared out. My husband has returned to work...which means that for the first time in over a week it's just me...and the boys. Together. Alone. I have a feeling we'll be spending a lot of time outside during their last few days of Christmas vacation.

We rung in the New Year with some good friends and fun board games. And sangria. Potent sangria. I'm kind of afraid of it now that I'm finally sober again. But, it has to get finished off before I get back to my normal diet and it's not like me to let fine alcohol go to waste. 

Anyway, since my days are all off and it just occurred to me that it's actually Wednesday and not Tuesday or Monday or Friday and it's no longer 2012...I bring you my first (and hopefully only) Wednesday Ten! 

1. What's the deal with all of the spoken lyrics in songs from the mid-90's? You couldn't just have a nice little bridge or instrumental in there? Ya gotta have some muscular, bald guy wearing hammer pants and a vest break it down for us? Okay. 

2. Few things give my mama heart more joy than watching my husband sit down with the kids and build Lego sets together. 

3. I'm really hoping that the word "assheads" catches on this year. I mean, "asshat" is okay and it's useful. But, sometimes, you meet someone who's acting like such a jerk you just imagine their entire head is just one big butt. And you don't feel like simply calling them a "butthead." You need to pack a punch. Asshead does that for you. 

4. I've discovered that grocery shopping is much more relaxing when you take your iPod with you. You can just ignore everyone else and go about your business. Until that awkward moment when you accidentally yell, "EXCUSE ME" over your music and terrify a very sweet looking Asian family. 

5. If you want people to leave you alone, perhaps the internet is not for you. 

6. I have gotten more shoes in the last week than I have in at least three years. A pair of cowboy boots, a pair of Sanuks, a pair of black ballet flats with gold sparkly toes, and a pair of gray suede moccasins. The last three pairs were all found on super clearance. So. Yay for that!

7. Got a laptop of Christmas. Went to get a Vera Bradley laptop cover. Of course it's too small. Dammit. 

8. This whole cross-advertising (or whatever it's called) creeps me out. You look at something on another site and then all of a sudden, every other site has ads for that exact same item, which forces you to think about it, and if you have no willpower you eventually give in and spend money you more than likely don't have. All because of the internet. Well played Al Gore. Well played. 

9. I desperately need a hair cut, a dye job and a good waxing. Because, nobody looks good with scraggly gray hair and two eyebrows that look like caterpillars. 

10. Look. I try not to be super judgy about parenting, because Lord knows I've done things that have gotten me some strange looks from others. But, it is completely unacceptable to chase your three year old down the main aisle at Target, yank her by the arm and drag her away while she's very clearly screaming in pain. I have been impatient. I have been frustrated. I have been downright furious. Please ask for help. Count to three. Leave the store. Anything but what I just saw. Because that basically broke my heart.