Shopping for clothing. And stereotypes about overweight women. Well, and not really being able to enjoy a cupcake without immediately following it with two hours of cardio, but I'll get over that.
I am currently in a weird clothing stage. I can still technically shop in the plus sizes, but I can also shop in the larger end of normal sizes. Either way, nothing fits me correctly and even though Stacy London would probably scream "TAILORING" in my face when I mention it, the truth is, it's not even worth it right now.
A few weeks ago, I attended an event that required two things. A snazzy pair of shoes and a semi-trendy outfit to go with them. I am not hip. I have friends that are and I completely admire and adore them for their ability to keep up with (and look adorable in) the latest fashions. Me? I am totally a jeans and v-neck sweater kinda gal. Buying red heels is about as out of the box as I get, people.
I'm living on the edge, y'all.
None of this, however, kept me from shopping with my adorable and perky friend Hollis that Saturday morning. We went from store to store, looking for shoes, then looking for things that went with the shoes, then looking for nail polish that matched the things that matched the shoes. And, since I wasn't exactly above looking for things that would work for me (because I am my mother's daughter), I glanced at, tried on, and window shopped for the majority of our outing.
Except. One thing plagued me.
These little boutiques and shops in the mall? They had four sizes. Extra small. Small. Medium. Large.
Now look. I'm not one of these crazy Fat Acceptance people. Because, I don't like it. I have hated every single day that's passed me by. I have loathed trying on and sampling. Public speaking. Anything that's involved the spotlight shining directly on me personally. I was (and in some ways still am) embarrassed about the way I look. So, I'm not all bent out of shape about not being able to find yoga pants with "S-E-X-Y" splayed across my ass in a 3X at Abercrombie.
But, no Extra Large? Yeah. I have a problem with that. A big one.
A few weeks ago, I attended an event that required two things. A snazzy pair of shoes and a semi-trendy outfit to go with them. I am not hip. I have friends that are and I completely admire and adore them for their ability to keep up with (and look adorable in) the latest fashions. Me? I am totally a jeans and v-neck sweater kinda gal. Buying red heels is about as out of the box as I get, people.
I'm living on the edge, y'all.
None of this, however, kept me from shopping with my adorable and perky friend Hollis that Saturday morning. We went from store to store, looking for shoes, then looking for things that went with the shoes, then looking for nail polish that matched the things that matched the shoes. And, since I wasn't exactly above looking for things that would work for me (because I am my mother's daughter), I glanced at, tried on, and window shopped for the majority of our outing.
Except. One thing plagued me.
These little boutiques and shops in the mall? They had four sizes. Extra small. Small. Medium. Large.
Now look. I'm not one of these crazy Fat Acceptance people. Because, I don't like it. I have hated every single day that's passed me by. I have loathed trying on and sampling. Public speaking. Anything that's involved the spotlight shining directly on me personally. I was (and in some ways still am) embarrassed about the way I look. So, I'm not all bent out of shape about not being able to find yoga pants with "S-E-X-Y" splayed across my ass in a 3X at Abercrombie.
But, no Extra Large? Yeah. I have a problem with that. A big one.
Is this the message we're sending now? That if you're not within these certain measurements, you can't shop here? If we don't have you're size, you don't fit within society's standard of what's beautiful or sexy or pretty or normal.
I don't even have daughters and I'm appalled.
I know gorgeous women of all sizes. And not just on the outside, on the inside too. But, they're shoved into a dark corner way back in the back where nobody can see them purchase clothing. They're forced into frumpy dresses peppered with bows that do nothing for their figures. Or, worse. Left to shove themselves into clothing that is cut smaller than most.
We don't have much better choices shopping for our daughters. Revealing skirts and tops that leave little to the imagination. No accommodations for young girls who might not fit into an Extra Small, or even a Large, yet would like to be able to find a formal for prom that doesn't look like it came from 1986 (or, maybe they do, because I'm afraid my childhood is coming back to haunt me). And God forbid they've developed early.
There's no room for those of us outside this new norm and it infuriates me.
I know at least a dozen women right now who are out there desperately trying to lose weight. Some need to (um, me). Many don't. They've tried every trick in the book. Every fad diet. Every shake, every meal plan, every new exercise. I know a few who starved themselves. Some because they needed the lifestyle change. Many because they desperately just wanted to be accepted.
Ladies. You're all gorgeous. I don't care what size you are. So many of us have more to offer than what's underneath our size 16 or 20 jeans. We have men and children who adore us and are surrounded by friends who could care less about what the tag on our sweater says about who we are. We're more.
That's what matters. Not whether or not we can fit into society's clothing closet.
I don't even have daughters and I'm appalled.
I know gorgeous women of all sizes. And not just on the outside, on the inside too. But, they're shoved into a dark corner way back in the back where nobody can see them purchase clothing. They're forced into frumpy dresses peppered with bows that do nothing for their figures. Or, worse. Left to shove themselves into clothing that is cut smaller than most.
We don't have much better choices shopping for our daughters. Revealing skirts and tops that leave little to the imagination. No accommodations for young girls who might not fit into an Extra Small, or even a Large, yet would like to be able to find a formal for prom that doesn't look like it came from 1986 (or, maybe they do, because I'm afraid my childhood is coming back to haunt me). And God forbid they've developed early.
There's no room for those of us outside this new norm and it infuriates me.
I know at least a dozen women right now who are out there desperately trying to lose weight. Some need to (um, me). Many don't. They've tried every trick in the book. Every fad diet. Every shake, every meal plan, every new exercise. I know a few who starved themselves. Some because they needed the lifestyle change. Many because they desperately just wanted to be accepted.
Ladies. You're all gorgeous. I don't care what size you are. So many of us have more to offer than what's underneath our size 16 or 20 jeans. We have men and children who adore us and are surrounded by friends who could care less about what the tag on our sweater says about who we are. We're more.
That's what matters. Not whether or not we can fit into society's clothing closet.
11 comments:
Ok...now I'm a tad freaked out. We are leading parallel lives. I was shopping with a friend at boutiques on Saturday was was totally put off by the "you're not accepted here" lack of sizes. At least her name wasn't Hollis...otherwise I'd be FREAKING out.
Amen, lady.
I adore you. And I can tell you that until weight loss became, for me, absolutely not about clothing/society/"normal" but about health do I have the slightest hope that it will work.
As for daughters, it's truly awful out there. I'm blessed with a child who doesn't give a damn about the latest anything - she's fine shopping at Target and doesn't want to show body parts in any way. Thank God.
What a load of crap this stuff about being just the right size is. I thought it would be easier when I got smaller. Nope. The clothes fit just as crappy in a smaller size. It's like they're out to get us, all women of all sizes. There must be some b*&%$ out there that fits into everything perfectly. And those chicks who work in the boutique stores, don't even get me started...
I hate shopping for this reason. Well that and the fact that Large really means size 10. I mean, c'mon now! The average woman is a size 12 and that includes women who have not pushed out babies from their loins.
ALL women are beautiful and I'm tired of being told if we're not size 4 we're fat. Its utter BS
I love it! I'm still the 18/20 or 22/24 stage but when I get to that 14/16 area I'm gonna be pissed if I can't finally find something cute.
I've got to see pics of you soon, it's driving me crazy!
Clothes today are made for some illusionary form. I'm 5 ft. nothing and so when I try to buy clothes the proportions are all wrong. Petite clothes are too short waisted and small busted and butt ugly. (Can you say Koret?) I've been heavier and I've been thinner and I've struggled at every size for one reason or another. Then factor in age. I'm 63and refuse to dress like an old lady or a teen so it's just a pissy mess again. Did someone once tell us that being presentable and happy are possible? Well, they lied.
amen... I fucking HATE shopping for clothes for two reasons... one is I'm only 5'3" and nothing is ever short enough for me.. and if it is, it doesn't fit my ass... because apparently short people aren't supposed to have hips or an ass. The second is that I have a longer torso than the average woman and if I don't want to spend the entire day pulling down my top i have to buy a size or two bigger .. which does kind of work out because at least women with longer torso's apparently do have boobs.. like me.
there is a reason that my every day attire consists of jeans, a tank top and a hoodie. It's comfortable and it fits. I know I'm not fashionable... I'm jealous of girls who are... but I don't think I'll ever be one of them.. unless the fashion industry does a 180.. and for all of us bigger than average girls.. who are all beautiful... I hope they do!
We all love you, Gini! Don't even get me started on shopping for jeans. There are VERY few people (even skinny bitches) who look good in those low-rise jeans, and yet that's all you can seem to find.
I think you've inspired me to go on a clothing rant over at my blog, so I'll definitely link back to yours because this was awesome! I heart you!
I am soo with you! I am a size 18 or 20 depending and it is the worst experience to have to go shopping! :( Except for shows and bags....cant outgrow them!
Jo
http://wts2011.blogspot.com/
Love it! I already hate trying on clothes, they dont need to make it harder on me by not carrying a size that'll fit.
Put so well! I just started reading your blog and I can SOOO relate!
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