I think I'm done with this three week long Christmas break. I'm totally serious. We need our routine. We need to be in bed early and out of bed and on the go. We need to have plans and do things and run errands and not be stuck in the house where we throw tantrums (yeah, I said "we") and toys and refuse to take naps because we're not tired enough to. I need order.
When I'm stuck at home like this, I start doing weird things like spying on my neighbors and wondering why the UPS or FedEx truck shows up nearly every single day to the house across the street. They must have a ton of disposable income with their one flippin' kid.
Or a shopping addiction.
Oh wait! Maybe they're ordering illegal prescription drugs from Mexico and selling them. And, now that I've discovered their plot, I can call the cops and be a hero in the War of Drugs! I knew those Amazon boxes were hiding something! Just Say No!
They'll write a news story about me in the local paper. I'll be on CNN with my kids running half naked in the front yard yelling "go go Power Raaangers!" I need to decide between my "I'm With Stupid" tee shirt or a bathrobe. Maybe if I hold a beer in one and a cigarette in the other? What do you think?
And when I'm not busy solving the illegal drug trade problem in my imagination, I'm doing super interesting things like watching old reruns of 90210 and America's Top Model, wondering why on earth they call that guy Benny Ninja? Because when I think of a ninja, I don't automatically conjure up the image of a middle aged gay man with a tiny little mustache who's also a proficient dancer.
Did you know that TV Guide Channel plays reruns of Cybill? True story. Now you can watch her fluctuating weight in HD!
I had six Oreos for lunch. I eyed the now flat champagne from Sunday and wondered if it would still be okay if I mixed it with orange juice. I wear furry socks and dirty yoga pants and wait until 11:00 to shower. I'm fascinated by infomercials (what is this orGREENic kitchenware?!?!). I read too many books and fall asleep in my chair at awkward hours of the day while the boys sit in front of Nick Jr.
"You could clean your house," you say!
It's already done. Every surface wiped and dusted. Everything organized. Bathrooms fresh. Ish.
I'm ready for Monday. And a nap.
Guess I'll go open a book and hope for the best.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I've obviously missed something. Your day sounds perfectly fine to me. Of course the neighbors are trafficking in drugs - mine are, too. And bathrooms can only ever be fresh-ish.
And I'm jealous of your Oreos.
Sounds fairly productive to me too. Is it just me? I do not get the bathrobe thing. I am either dressed or not. Is there a whole other world of in between that I just don't get?! Probably...
If you pair your -> I'm with Stupid shirt with some Dolphin shorts and nylons, THEN you've got it made. Your neighbors might give you a break on the drugs you may end up needing one day! LOL!
I was ready for school to start up too, now the alarm goes off an no one wants to get up, so it's a WHOLE other battle!
Think of all those teachers who are dying right now. Dying, I say! That was the worst feeling ever--going back after Christmas vacay! January and February are teacher's months from HELL!!!! Enjoy your Monday and your nap. I'm just gonna curl up here in my mucus and die. (Thanks for loling at my pun.)
Wow- THREE WEEKS? We only got a week and a day. Kids got out December 23 and went back Jan 3.
I can't believe the kiddos were home for so long!! No wonder you are going nuts. Mine were home for a week and I couldn't wait for them to go back!! LOL. So, did you purchase any new Vera items while you were shopping?
You know what most of our Amazon boxes contain? Groceries. Gluten-free groceries are way cheaper from Amazon. Every now and then we'll order something interesting for variety like a new pair of running shoes for me.
Post a Comment