I probably don't have to tell you guys that I was the perfect child. A model for excellent behavior. Straight A's. Perfect attendance. Always went to bed on time, never once skipped school to er, fraternize with my boyfriend and would totally not ever torture my poor mom with my desperate desire to pull all of my hair back in a headband.
Okay. I can't even type any of that with a straight face.
Mom. Dad. It's okay, you can stop laughing.
No. Really. Because these tween years are about to kill me. Dead. I mean, I think I might skip the alcoholic phase all together and just hit the "bury me now please so I no longer have to endure this moody, puberty hell."
Who is this child? When did I have to start confiscating things?
I thought I had until at least high school before he started changing clothes at school because I told him he couldn't wear a short-sleeved shirt on a 40 degree day. Do boys even do that? I totally thought it was a girl thing.
I mean. Not that I ever did that, of course.
I am so confused and frustrated. It's as if it happened overnight. This defiance. The kid who's music tastes and voice and overall appearance have changed. My son, who tells me that combing his wavy hair forward is "cool" and that the way I force him to fix it on Sunday mornings makes him "look stupid."
And for the record, I'd like to point out that it's actually the other way around. But what do I know? I'm just mom.
I have a feeling that this is how my own parents felt about me when I turned into Alien Teenager from Hades. I'm willing to bet that they both started closet drinking and that there's a permanent dent in a wall in that house from where they banged their heads repeatedly.
All of those times I lied. All of those times I turned the music up too loud or shot them the bird from the safety of my closed off bedroom or muttered under my breath or took the car out somewhere I wasn't supposed to or skipped school or wore make-up. All of that is coming back to haunt me in a baaad way...
Not that I actually did any of that stuff.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
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7 comments:
Gini I love your blog! Makes me realize I am not the only crazy B*T#H.
I have two lil redheaded girls who are insane. Not close to your hell ages yet, but I am in the acholic phase and ready for a home now. I started my motherhood later in life. 37 and 38 yeah only a year apart from each other and both are killing me softly! Thanks for making my morning!
I'm so thankful that my daughter is grown with children of her own. But they, and she, drive me crazy sometimes. I can't understand why all teenagers can't be perfect as I was. hahahah!! Good luck, friend.
Uh oh! My oldest is only in 2nd grade....I'm a little scared of this growing up thing.
My boy is 8, and he is showing no signs of this- but my DAUGHTER IS ONLY FOUR and is already defiant, moody, combatant and outright bitchy. I'm terrified of the tweens and teens!
Dad says, "Take solace in knowing that, in the end it worked out."
This is one of reasons I'm afraid to have kids. I did A LOT of bratty shit when I was a kid/teen, I dont know how my parents didnt just lock me in the closet & throw away the key haha.
I am SOOO not looking forward to this phase! My oldest should be hitting it real soon and I cringe.
I'll slug some Brandy on your behalf and hope you come out of this phase alive
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