Resolutions 2012

A few years ago, I made the mistake of promising people I'd be less snarky. As it usually goes with New Year's Resolutions, that quickly fell by the wayside and before I knew it, I was wondering (out loud and possibly rather directly) what that girl was laughing about every time she saw me, because it wasn't my stomach that was hanging over the waistband of my pants...

Ahem.

Since then, I've tried to stick with the milder, easier to achieve resolutions. It's good to set attainable goals.

This year is no different. Well, maybe it is. Because this is the one year that I've decided that I have to get my weight under control. And I've already gotten a decent head start on that, which is especially nice when you're able to slip yourself into a gorgeous size 16 dress that's so far out of your price range that you are seriously considering shoplifting it (kidding, mom)!

Damn me marrying for love. Can I make resolutions about finding a decent, non-creepy Sugar Daddy?

So. That's my first resolution. To continue to lose weight, get healthy and ride a bike without feeling like someone just shoved their size 12 boot into my neither regions (you can thank me now for not making plowing jokes here, seriously).

I vow to dance more this year. I only say this now because Madonna's on my iPod (pre eerie beef jerky resemblance Madonna) and I'm literally typing in time to the music, which takes a long time if you want me to be honest here. I resolve to listen to more good music and not be ashamed that I've got P.M. Dawn and Nsync on my iPod. I promise to get my groove on when I'm working out and rap along with Vanilla Ice, because all of that? It makes me happy and I'm tired of spending time not feeling that way.

I resolve to forgive those who have hurt me. Not for them. For me. I will strive to let them walk freely through my mind without a second thought. I will pray for them, I will hope for good marriages, healthy children and not begrudge them happiness. 

I will spend my time productively. Which was the wrong thing to say yesterday, because I woke up to a crashed computer today. A sign? I think so.

I want to spend more time with my kids playing. I (cringe) want more Play-Doh, more coloring, more (double cringe) glitter. I will let them help me cook, take them with me to the store and spend less time worrying about when I'll get a break. Hopefully. Four kids is a lot, y'all.

But, if I've learned anything last year, it's that life is short. In the blink of an eye, you wake up to find gray hair, age spots, wrinkles. And it can all be over in an instant. I want to enjoy every minute, love freely, and know that when I'm gone, those legacies will live on through my children. And you know, if anyone wanted to throw a little bit of cash our way, that'd be just fine and dandy too!

Now. There's an elliptical waiting for me, an iPod full of cheezy work-out music and about 5,000 calories from all of the shrimp, ice cream, pasta, buffalo chicken dip and champagne I had last night!