If You're Easily Annoyed By The Weight Loss Talk, This Post Ain't For You...

I went to Zumba for the first time yesterday.

If you ever want to see something hilarious, go to your local gym and just observe a class. Preferably any gym but mine. Because, as I discovered yesterday, I am much much too white to "get it girl." Whatever that means. I just know I cannot and should not do it. Ever. 

The weight loss thing has been a bit frustrating these last couple of months. I have been too busy with holidays and events and family and eating. In fact, I think I spent the entire month of December in a perpetual state of PMS. The yo-yo weight made me crazy and now, finally, I'm back to where I was at Thanksgiving (which is a good thing).

Despite not really having dropped a whole lot of actual weight, I seem to have slimmed down and toned up significantly. I can see the definition in my calves again. My thighs are no longer the size of tree stumps. I have ankles and wrists and I don't have to jam my wedding ring on my finger anymore. I have one chin again too. 

And so, I've decided to enjoy this long process of losing weight and all that has come with it. I'm enjoying trying new things like Zumba or finding new music and beating my previous pace on the elliptical. I relish in the fact that I can now go to the movies and be comfortable in my seat. I can wear heels without my ankles swelling and can "shop" in old friend's cast offs.

I can cross my legs. I have knees. I can take a class like Zumba and have fun and be silly and even though I'm still heavy, I am able to do more than I could have six months ago.

I am enjoying running into people who haven't seen me in a few weeks and slipping shirts over my hips instead of being frustrated with the way they clung tightly to them before. I don't totally hate pictures of myself and can tell there's now a definite division between my ass and my thigh. I can walk quickly without breathing heavy. I don't feel like I need seconds at dinner.

Did I mention I have knees again?

And maybe all of this is annoying to people and they're tired of hearing about it, but here's the thing...

For almost twelve years of my life, I have been overweight. And I have hated every second of it. Not being able to run with my kids. Wanting to play tennis and being unable to endure it. Being upset every time I tried on clothing or had to be in front of people because it was embarrassing. I made a blog out of picking on myself. I've avoided and procrastinated.

I'm going to enjoy this. Every pound I lose, every extra mile I go, every time I experience something I missed without even realizing it. So feel free to roll your eyes or talk about how irritating I am behind my back. Because I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me.