Where I'm At...

I've come to the conclusion that this blog is dead. 

I killed it myself. Set it on fire, torched it to the ground. A lot like the recent bridges I've burned. Well, not bridges. More like entire villages full of natives that could have given me simple directions to the bridge and maybe sent me on my way with a pack of gold and a nice snack. 

I'm not sorry, in case you were wondering. I'm done trying to figure out who hates me and who doesn't or who's trashing me and who isn't. Because to be honest...I just don't care. I haven't lost a single night of sleep worrying about it, but if it makes anyone feel better to think that I do or that I'm sitting at home alone every night without friends or things to do, go right ahead. I have zero regrets. 

I am not the same person who started this blog. Angry. Bitter. Snarky. I don't even think I'm funny anymore. Don't ask me what happened there. It just kind of disappeared. I'm actually not all that fat anymore either, which is pretty much fantastic. I don't talk politics (unless you follow me on Twitter and then, uh...) because it's enough to make my head explode. 

I got tired of talking about people. I think spending a year or more picking apart every aspect of another person's life is not only lame but incredibly mean. I'm not saying I haven't done it, but it's bad Karma. And trust me, I know that from personal experience. You reap what you sow and I got tired of reaping the "benefits" of being hateful, no matter how justified I may have been. It's a lesson that I think a lot of people could do well with. 

These last few months have been filled with lots of good things. They've also had their moments of really, really awful things. I'm not sorry that I didn't share them, because I think that my family does deserve a little bit of privacy in those moments. This especially applies to our teenage son, who has been hurting more deeply than his father and I ever would have known had we not taken our noses out of our laptops and started paying attention. 

We have slowly started putting our family back together. There is less yelling and more spending time together. Yesterday, we rode our bikes to the baseball fields and hit balls all afternoon. We have family movie nights. We've implemented chore charts and organization and I can't even tell you...this house has been fabulously clean and I feel like we've been running like a well-oiled machine instead of a broken down, rusty ass tractor. 

We have been finishing up long-overdue projects. Hanging up things, painting, organizing, updating. Our front bathroom looks amazing, minus two small items that need to be wrapped up. I made Mr. BFG hang up stuff that's been stored in my closet for two years in the dining room. I spent so much time imagining and pinning and wanting...it felt good to finally do it. I still have tons of ideas and stuff that we're slowly working on (our backyard herb garden), but I love having a home that people walk into and think, "wow, this looks great." 

Perfection was never my goal. That's impossible. I'm human and I mess up. I mess up a lot. And, I'm sure there are people who fault me for that. But I'm no longer living a half life where I'm only partly engaged with my family. My kids were growing up too quickly for me to only somewhat pay attention. My goal was to stop focusing on everyone else and start fixing myself. I was broken. My family was broken. I had to hit rock bottom before I started to put it all back together. 

So, I don't know what's next for me. I have a contract that I need to get out of and then this blog is going to be saved on my computer and then wiped from existence (or at least as much as one can on the internet). I won't be writing anymore after this. I want to share my positive experiences, but I don't feel like I can do that here. I haven't felt that way for a long, long time and even though I've tried to leave, other commitments have kept me coming back. 

And so, that's where I'm at. Putting the pieces back together and figuring out what's next for me. 

Tuesday Ten..

I think that this day could officially qualify as one of the more trying ones in recent memory. Sometimes I wonder if days like these...the ones that, when you break it all down, really just amount to a large jumble of First World Problems...are God's little reminder that I am in control of precisely nothing.

And yet, I continuously try to wrestle control away and take things on by myself. Current Bubble of Awesomeness included. And, I'm not gonna lie. I'm enjoying my bubble. I don't have to let anyone in if I don't want to and I am in control here. Completely normal and healthy behavior, right?

But, it also days like these where you are shown just how much you need friends. Especially ones who greet you bearing adorable little Vera Bradley hair clippies in your favorite pattern. 

I haven't felt like writing much lately. I don't know where I am with any of it, really. I feel like I need an adventure. One that doesn't begin with my daily taxi service and is fuzzy with a flurry of activity and then ends with me crashing to another episode of Friends and waking up to turn off an episode of George Lopez.

Gag. Who honestly thought that show was funny?

Anyway. Here's another boring and completely unexciting Tuesday Ten. Hurray. 

1. Few things are more unattractive than a guy spitting. I mean like, opening up the door of your souped up Mustang in traffic and just hocking up the nastiest thing possible and then thinking it's okay to just hack it out along with whatever else is floating around in your nasal passages. Makes me want to slap your mama. 

2. I am in love with coconut oil. It has been the best moisturizer and hair mask I have ever used. Ever. My hair is all fluffy and soft, my skin is amazing. I mean, smelling like coconuts is kind of a turn off for Mr. BFG, but the upside is that if I do it at night, he sleeps on the couch. Hi, giant bed for one please!

3. Mr. BFG and I have been sitting outside, watching baseball and drinking wine/beer in the evenings after the kids are in bed. The weather is amazing right now and I'm loving every second of the time we get to spend together on these nights.

4. I'm ready to be done with these last few auction items. Please pick up your stuff, people. Please?

5. I'm really proud of Blake's reading progress. Tonight, he sounded out the word "batting." The other night, he figured out the word, "speaker." Pretty impressive for my big kid!

6.Why is it that when you're totally in love with a certain item, you can't find it anywhere? I swear, once I stop looking for it because I've found a comparable item, I'll find it on some overstock site for $1.99 or something. 

7. Listen. You cannot go braless if you've popped out a couple of kids and are over the age of 30 (possibly younger). So, stop it. You're assaulting my eyeballs. 

8. I miss my mama. 

9. This trend of cute tops with tiny little fitted tapered sleeves is pissing me off. Nothing is more annoying than trying on a shirt and looking like you have bat wings. What person thought this would be a nice fashion choice?

10. Mad Men, Game of Thrones and Real Housewives of the OC all within a week? Um. Yeah, my favorite premier week ever. 

A Monday Mashup...

I think my busy schedule and lack of regular sleep is catching up with me in the form of an upper respiratory infection that feels like it's going to turn into bronchitis. I sound like an alien has taken up residence in my chest and I basically feel as awful as I sound.

So, it's been kind of crazy around here these last two weeks and I know that nobody really cares except for our families (which is who I do this for anyway, plus I'm contractually obligated to post at least once per week so...win-win, right?), but I've got a ton of stuff to share. From baseball officially starting to Junk Gypsy Prom to my super cute Spring wreath!

Let's get started (right after I drop off my husband at the courthouse for jury duty anyway)...

Okay, so this place called Chimy's just opened down here and a bunch of us couldn't wait to try it out (mostly because Happy Hour is all. day. long. on Mondays...so, um...no brainer). And so on Monday, the twin mamas trekked down there to see what the hub-bub was about and discovered the largest platter of nachos on the entire planet.

My friend Hollis also delivered my super cool new Tupperware condiment server, which will more than likely sit in a cabinet somewhere while I entertain twelve different times wondering why on earth I don't have a condiment server. 

Also, if you've never had Kombucha, you totally should. Especially after eating a platter of nachos. The Live Soda is so, so good. It really kind of tasted like cream soda. 

So, after a busy week of meetings and practices and Jonathan being in and out of town, we spent the weekend totally relaxing and being outside together. And, it was perfect springtime weather too. Absolutely gorgeous. I have to admit that I love things like a bunch of Crocs all lined up. The boys came in, cleaned themselves up and we started Wreck it Ralph for them in the living room while I sat outside with a book and a glass of wine. 

After a week of really gorgeous weather, Mother Nature decided that it was time to freak us all out and turn cold and rainy. So, while stuck in the house, I dug out some cute green chevron ribbon and made a wreath for the front door. I ended up adding a fourth burlap flower, but it's so cheery and cute and I'm pretty proud of myself. Normally my attempts at wreath making are massive failures!

On Wednesday, I met up with my friend Leah and the two of us made tutus for Junk Gypsy Prom in Round Top. This was my first time to ever hear anything about this event, so I was pretty stoked to check it out. Apparently Texas Antiques Week is a big thing 'round these parts? Anyway, our little helper Lucy went to Hobby Lobby with us and insisted on toting anything that was pink and sparkly through the entire store. And then, Leah and I made tutus...and, I swear, photos cannot even do this thing justice. It's massive and fluffly and I was thisclose to wearing it to church yesterday. For real, yo. 

On Thursday night, Leah and I met up with a couple of other friends and headed out to Round Top. Now, I will attempt to explain Gypsy Prom to y'all the best I can...but seriously, it won't even come close to describing what it actually is. Basically, everyone gets dressed up in whatever crazy costume they can find. Lots of old prom dresses and hats and bows and flowers and jewelry. You go from tent to tent checking out antiques and junk and all kinds of random homemade or upcycled stuff. I mean, it's amazing and you'd have to spend days there to see it all. Also. There's wine. And beer. And champagne. And bands. Oh, and boots. Because, this is Texas y'all. It was amazing. I ended up with a new tee and the cutest little mason jar mug, which is my official margarita glass. I also found a cute metal letter H finally. So, yeah...awesome time. 

On Saturday, CSLL had their Opening Day ceremonies and team pictures. We loaded the kiddos up early, got Blake together with his team and then suffered through an hour of getting thousands of little league kids together on the field for a panoramic photo that will be forever displayed over the concession stand (hopefully my kid wasn't picking his nose or anything). Then, they dedicated the fields to Brian Bachmann, the Constable that was killed last summer while delivering an eviction notice and his son caught the first pitch and we all cried because it was beautiful. And then we all ran off to play in the bounce houses and eat hot dogs and a great time was had by all. Oh, and then we napped. Because, ohmygodexhaustion.

Have I mentioned how thrilled I am that baseball officially started last week? Because I totally am. But this year I decided to split my loyalty between two teams. Don't get me wrong, my Rangers will always be number one...but, this year I decided that The Washington Nationals would be a good team to get to know. I mentioned this to Jon and while he was out getting an Orioles hat for Blake's team (he's their third base coach this year), he found one for me for cheap and I LOVE it! I'm so excited (even though they aren't really off to the best start). 

So, I think that's it? Another photo roundup from the most boring blogger in the world...

I'm off to get the house clean before Guest Blogger Bob gets here on Friday! Exciting times, y'all. Until next time... 

Perfect Night In: Swap Package Reveal!

Hey Peeps! Happy Thursday-Almost Friday-Almost Easter!

A few weeks ago, I joined up with Linny's Vault for another fabulous swap. This is my third one and, as usual, it's been awesome! 

This time, I got paired with the lovely Sarah G. at Buffalo Peach. One of the biggest reasons I love doing these is because (okay, yeah...the presents don't hurt y'all) each of the super sweet ladies I've met are just fabulous and fun and I love getting to know new people. Sarah is also a fellow twin mama, so I definitely loved that little fun connection. We have a ton in common, so that's basically awesome. 

Anyway, I was a total flake and got caught up in my crazy life (which I always tell people is completely unusual for me, but if I have to keep saying it...uh, well...maybe it's something I need to work on just a wee little bit?) and before I knew it, my package was sitting on my doorstep and her's? Well. It was lovingly placed in the back of the car and gently forgotten. 

Eeek. 

Being the incredibly kind person that she is, Sarah did not immediately demand that I send back my goodies. Instead, she mentioned she'd be in Houston soon and I could just send it to her BFF. Oh, and also, open your package anyway. 

And this is what I got...

• A lovely Bully Hill Merlot (which is local and I think that's fabulous!)
• A bottle of Aveeno lavander ubble bath
• Incarnate by Jodi Meadows
• And a gorgeous hand painted by Sarah G. herself wine glass that, sadly, didn't make it. The stem broke off, so Mr. BFG and I are gonna work on figuring out a way to use it as a candle holder or something. It's too pretty to waste. 

Thank you Sarah for the super awesome goodies! I cannot wait to hang around in my yoga pants, sip some wine, check out this book and drink some more wine while taking a bubble bath. That's my kind of evening!

Monday Mashup...

I'm running behind today. This mostly is due to the fact that I got up at 6:00, ran up to Blake's school to do some last minute item organization for leftover auction items that weren't paid for, and then came home and slept until a time I'm embarrassed to publicly admit. 

My sleep schedule is completely jacked up right now. I'm falling asleep at weird hours, yet waking up at totally normal times, which causes me to fall asleep at even weirder hours and wake up just in time to throw together dinner.

It's really fun. 

Our weekend went by way too quickly, but it was good! So, here's a Monday Mashup full of super awesome thing that happened last week...

First and foremost, Blake started baseball practice. I cannot even tell you how excited I am that baseball season officially starts in one week. But even more, I love having a kid who loves sports and a husband who gets involved with it too. It's pretty awesome. 

I know nobody really cares about this, but...I found the knock-off brand of sweet potato chips that I love at the grocery store I shop at all the time. I used to get so annoyed over having to go to Kroger to get these, but HEB carries them now and so I made my favorite nachos in the whole wide world with them and they were delicious. So delicious that I ate the whole pan. And I'm not even sorry.

Can I tell you just how much I hate this? Especially when I tell them, "yeah...it's G-I-N-I." The upside is that I was desperately in need of the most ginormous iced coffee in the world and this one fit the bill. 

This is what happens when we make Lego guns and throw them. I'm sure my husband will love knowing that I posted this and nothing bad will come from sharing this with the interwebz.

So, the next few days after that were fuzzy, because I was crazy busy trying to finish up everything for the carnival. This is only one of the tables (the kid's stuff table) and I have no idea who those children belong to. I barely even saw mine and had no time to take pictures of anything. Not even the giant margarita I had after. A great time was had by all though!

This was my reward for all of my hard work. I may or may not have eaten it around noon. A plate full of bacon in bed, while playing around on my laptop. Is my husband not the best ever?

This was my other reward. I think everyone finally figured out that mom's got other stuff going on and cannot clean up after them all the time. Blake cleaned the table, swept the kitchen and cleaned up after breakfast while Riley cleaned the bathroom and Reese made their beds and straightened up their bedroom. Uh. Best. Children. Ever. 

The Holy Grail of Ulta Coupons

I said this was the beginning of my Easter tablescape, but I didn't have any energy to do anything else and so, THIS IS MY EASTER TABLESCAPE!

See? They can be sweet. 

At some point Saturday night, Mother Nature decided it was Winter again. This was at 10:00 am, on my way back from church (the first service, since Blake had to sing at two of them...and one of them thankfully was not at 8:15). By the way, it was 90 degrees here on Friday. Ninety. 

Singing in the second service. I have no idea what he's doing here. I think he was telling someone to turn around, and yet...shortly after, he spent a good five minutes staring at the small orchestra behind him

After church at the Easter Carnival. I'll let you figure out who's who here. 

After the egg hunt...

It was extremely cold and windy...

Yeah mom, it was reallyreallyreally fun. Can we go to the car now?

The Volunteer State...

I seem to consistently get myself into the following situation...

An opportunity comes up. 

They ask for volunteers. 

I say to myself, "no...no, no, no, no...uh-huh...nope."

I sit in uncomfortable silence while everyone else in the group looks at their phones and pretends to read Facebook. 

Crickets start to chirp. 

And then, slowly...very slowly...a hand goes up and before I know it, I'm hearing my very own voice say that I don't mind taking on the aforementioned opportunity. "No problem," I say, cheerfully! 

Face. Palm. 

One of my "non-specific" and "too broad" resolutions for this year was to say no more often and stop saying yes out of guilt. I've done fairly well with that so far, only taking on my prior commitments without taking on new ones and learning that it's okay to stay at home and not hang out with other people if I don't feel like it (no offense other people, sometimes this girl likes to sit at home and eat ice cream...obvs). 

I thought this would make life easier. That I could be more laid back and comfortably accomplish tasks without the added pressure of knowing that I'd signed up to "DO ALL THE THINGS!" 

Ha. 

Back in the fall, when I joined PTO, I agreed to take on two massive projects. As it turned out, they both overlapped, which means that I have been doing a lot of juggling for the past few months. In all fairness, I didn't really understand just how much work both of them would be (and in even more fairness, I have one really, really amazing assistant and an amazing group of helpful women backing me up) and so I think I was caught off-guard when crunch time came this week. 

But, as I sit here writing this, I am on the tail end of pulling off one of the biggest events I have ever taken on. And I am damn proud of myself. 

Last night, we had the Spring Carnival at Blake's school. I volunteered to handle the silent auction portion, thinking it would be big, but not difficult. I didn't anticipate the sheer amount of work that it took, even just to chase down people and items. Especially over the last ten days.

I stood there in the atrium last night for just a minute, staring at the tables full of donated items and I was in complete awe of myself. The ninety-one pieces of merchandise that I collected, organized and delivered. The spreadsheets and bid sheets and envelopes. The way everyone on our committee pitched in to help me get it all done, whether it be by making phone calls or putting things up on display or writing out bid sheets, or forwarding item lists. It was all a big learning process and there is a lot that I would change next time around, but my God...I am pretty proud of it all. 

I don't know how much money we made. I haven't even gotten all of our items to the winning bidders. I don't even think I can stomach looking at another spreadsheet today. I know there are thank you cards to send and people to personally share my gratitude with. But, right now, to just know that I am capable of all of this makes me feel amazing. Like I've participated in something bigger than myself, even if it's "just" a school fundraiser in someone else's eyes. It was big and it was amazing and I was a big part of it.

Hot damn, it feels good. And you know what? It makes me willing to say "yes" again. 

Tuesday Ten...

I have always had a hard time maintaining a positive attitude when I'm stressed out. It gets really tough to balance things and so when I would encounter stress, the anxiety would kick in and before I knew it I was a hot mess.

It's becoming a stressful week. I think it's only Tuesday, right?

With Blake starting baseball, his school carnival coming up on Friday and a massive yearbook deadline looming, I feel like it's all I can do to get my emails answered right now. But, somehow, I had managed to be calm and collected and level-headed (look at me, being all cool and easy to deal with!). 

Mostly. Things get dicey when I'm hungry.

But then, PMS hit and it's basically made me want to yell bad words at random strangers.

I keep getting pulled away from writing this. Maybe it's a sign that I shouldn't spend the next fifteen minutes writing about ten things this week that have made me want to kick puppies and push old ladies in front of buses (not literally y'all, I do still have a little bit of spotless soul in here somewhere). Maybe I should choose to breathe in the good air, exhale the bad air and go for a walk. 

Eh. What the heck, here we go. 

1. There is a local business person who I haven't liked for a very long time. I feel like they have seriously wronged someone that I know (and in a business sense, not in a friendship/customer service situation) and thought I would give them the opportunity to redeem themselves. And yet, they continue to reaffirm every awful thought that I have about them. If you don't want to give something to us, just say so. Don't approach me, say yes and then spend the next fifteen minutes telling me how hard it is to give. Just don't do it at all because you're wasting my time. 

2. Stopping in the middle of the busiest road through town instead of pulling into a parking lot to donate money to a kid's fundraiser. Giving to a good cause is fantastic. Causing massive pileups and possible accidents, not so much. I want to ram people like you. 

3. Ugh on people who can't just mind their own beeswax. If you want a situation to go away, just stop talking about it. If you don't like someone, don't like them. I don't care. They don't care. Just move on already. 

4. The price of clothing. I went to the outlet mall to get the boys some new Crocs and was hoping to find an Easter dress. But, outlet prices? Uh. What happened to you being cheap? Because, no. If I wanted to pay $50-$100 for a dress, I'd just shop locally. 

5. You're. You + Are. It's not hard. Also, if you're a "professional," could you pretty please act like one? Saying to me, "is you done" is not really the mark of someone "incredibly educated." I'm just sayin'. 

6. Vera Bradley sales. Look. I can't. I'm too poor and I have too many bags already. I don't need your six emails a day telling me what's on sale or what new pattern is coming out because it just makes me want to buy all the things! 

7. If you want your car to be your personal boombox between the hours of 11:00 am and 8:00 pm, that's fine. I don't like it, but it's fine. If you want to blast your car stereo at 6:00 am while I'm still happily snoozing away, you're gonna find my foot in somewhere incredibly uncomfortable. 

8. To every celebrity out there who insists on wearing their hat without bending the bill, thanks. And by thanks, I actually mean, a big sarcastic thanks for passing down this fashion choice to my teenager.

9.  Listen. I am all for making fun of things. My sense of humor is broad. I'll even laugh at myself, for crying out loud. But, there are certain topics that are just off-limits and there are words you just don't use in reference to other people. Especially children. It's not funny, it's not even crass. It's just mean. 

10. Please clean up after yourself. I don't care where you are or who you are or what the situation might be. If you make a mess at a restaurant, clean it up. If you're digging through racks of clothing or shoes and happen to drop something, pick it up and put it back. If your kid topples the entire displace of canned pumpkin at the grocery store, for heaven's sake, fix it. It's not hard to be a generally decent human being.